Self-care is something moms hear about a lot lately, and with good reason -- we've forgotten how to do it. Or, did we ever know how to do it? [For the sake of clarity in communication, this blog focuses on traditional mom roles, yet it can apply to anyone in a care-giving role.] Wives and moms are chronically putting themselves last to be taken care of. We make sure the kids are fed, Hubby finds his socks, where the homework is, when appointments need to be made, which playdate or birthday party is next...and on and on. This leads to burn-out, frustration, no progress on one's own goals, feelings of failure... "Mommy Wine Culture" is big business these days. There are t-shirts, hats, tote bags, or any number of merchandise that capitalize on the tired moms who choose alcohol to wind down (wine down) at night. They perpetuate the idea that drinking alcohol is truly a form of self-care. In the name of "self-care" many of us will start self-medicating in the form of a glass (or two...or three?) of wine or indulgent foods. For some people this isn't a problem. But for the people who want to improve their health & fitness (physical AND mental), it is a huge roadblock. It’s easy to get caught up in a vicious cycle of our stress leading to self-medicating which leads to guilt & shame. And that only adds to the stress. I used to have a sense of humor about the Mommy Wine Culture products, because I WAS one of those moms who relied on alcohol at the end of the day. Every single day. I don't giggle about it anymore because I finally recognized how dangerous it is to normalize the ongoing process of self-medicating. How it’s dangerous Alcohol is addictive. What may start out as just a wind-down drink can turn into an ongoing ritualistic habit that becomes part of a pattern. As we know, ingrained habits are hard to abandon without significant mental focus. Alcohol is a toxin. I’m always amazed at the number of women who are vocal about avoiding environmental toxins, yet also freely drink alcohol. This is the easiest toxin to avoid. (The singer of Smash Mouth, Steve Harwell, passed away at the age of 56 due to liver failure from heavy drinking). Alcohol contributes to high blood pressure, strokes, liver disease, and digestive problems including the very common acid reflux. Mommy Wine Culture normalizes a dangerous solution to life’s stressors. Many of our personal training clients enjoy wine and bourbon on a regular basis. For some, it is included as part of their overall healthy program, so indulgences here and there don’t create a negative impact on their lives or their desired fitness goals. For others, it may be the single biggest contributor to their lack of progress. Do you have to give up alcohol completely? Only you can answer that question, and if you suspect you should give it up entirely, I encourage you to speak to your supportive family members or friends, and possibly a trained addiction counselor to get help with your decision. There are certainly ways to reduce the amount you drink. Sunnyside is an app that can help manage one’s drinking. It’s intended to help the user create mindfulness around their drinking choices. It is easy to use and judgment-free. How to create mindfulness without an app: At the beginning of each week, set an intention for which days you will drink and how many drinks you will have. It’s okay to start with a baseline week to simply track what you normally drink. Each week that you were successful at meeting your intention, evaluate whether you’re ready to drink a little less the next week. If you weren’t successful, evaluate what happened to throw you off track. How will you mitigate that for the upcoming week? At Serious Results, we don’t villainize alcohol, but we recognize that it may be hampering a person’s progress toward goals they set for themselves. Yes, there is a way to include modest amounts of alcohol in an overall plan, but it must be handled responsibly.
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